JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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