Apparently you make a good broom.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize