Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
