Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
