So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
