Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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