Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
