Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
