I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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