I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
