I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
