fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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