turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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