I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
