u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
