Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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