Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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