Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
