How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
