he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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