I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
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i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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