can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The Olympian is in my bed
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