pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
