New low: just hacked my moms facebook
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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