"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
