the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
