so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
