so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
