I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We left an ass print on the piano.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
