if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
