She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
