Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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