do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
