3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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