you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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