Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
