Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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