My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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