I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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