so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
