Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
