It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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