Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
