Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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