Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
