You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
