He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
