Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize