No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
