You really coming over, don't trick.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
