Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
