He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think I died a long time ago.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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