i think my mom watched the whole time
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
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it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
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How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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