Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
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Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
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His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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