Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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