you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
