It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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