I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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