My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
