You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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